Joseph Floyd
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003: SF Office of Emerging Technology Streamlines Capitalism

10/16/2019

 
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A flood of startup applicants has overwhelmed the new San Francisco Office of Emerging Technology. In order to process the high volume of crypto scooter food delivery companies, the Office of Emerging Technology has hired an AI-powered robot to review applications. The robot was developed in secret by Boston Dynamics, under project name, “Robot Used By Bureaucratic Entities Rendering Sanction or Termination of Applications for Metro Permission.”
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Or for short: R.U.B.B.E.R.S.T.A.M.P.

Using sophisticated algorithms and the latest edge computing technology (a raspberry pi), RUBBERSTAMP quickly scans applications and returns the city’s verdict instantly with no need for real-world testing and market / public response.

“We need AI to help us scan these emerging technology applications so we can rule out any startups that might be too disruptive to the city,” says a city official. “Our streets are already full of garbage and human feces so we really can’t compound the situation with tech startups that are trying to improve urban living.”

When this reporter asked RUBBERSTAMP for comment, the robot replied that comments are “Not Approved” then flipped the *bird* as it *skipped* and *scooted* away.

In an effort to streamline capitalism, the SF Office of Emerging Technology has hired a robot to expedite the application process for new tech startups in SF. Read the inside scoop here! https://t.co/t5tjmDaOaH #LetThemEatTech pic.twitter.com/zORQclyiSj

— Joseph Floyd (@thejoefloyd) October 16, 2019

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